i wish

that i could tell you that i feel like something has changed. that i could tell you that i like it. that i feel like maybe this is the best thing that ever happened to me because i realized what i lost. that i didnt feel this way. that you were here. that we could go somewhere or not, just spend time. that i could not open up old wounds. that i wasnt afraid. i wish that there was us before i left- or that i never left. i wish that we were able to grow together instead of apart. i wish i didnt have to share you. i wish alot of things. but most of all right now- i wish that i knew where this was going- if it is real- what it is. i dont want to fall again unless i can keep you. because i love you. i dont want to mess this up again

-manderz-