i miss my old life

Im watching the Hannah Montana movie on youtube. and i love the movie, but after today, i have realised all i really want is to back about 9 months and completely re-do everything. i wish i didnt give up my best friend, even though that one was for the best. i wish i could have been there when you needed me so you wouldnt be where you are. yes i do blame myself for the shitty place your in and all the jealousy i feel towards the things you do. i wish i didnt give up my family. i risked all of my relationships with them to do what was best for me. and it wasnt even what was best in the end. and most of all, i miss giving up my boyfriend. the best thing that has ever happened to me. over the past nine months, i have done nothing but distroy him. i tried to run, numerous times, convienced myself that he didnt care. but he does. more than anyone. i even went as far as to tell him i dont love him anymore to keep running from all the things that hurt me. and why does hannah montana make me think of all the great things i gave up. cuz after he asked me out, me nd bai went and saw hannah montana. would i do this year again- hell yes. would i give up everything again- hell yes. but if i did, i would make more out of the past 9 months. i would do everything different. and would stop running. i dont want to run anymore. i want everyone to know the truth. the one good thing that came out of this year was rener. honest to god life support right there. so heres to the truth- cuz lies are shit. Mike- i still love you. and want to be yours everyday all day. Bailey- we were best friends, but you taught me things that i couldnt have learned from anyone else. thanks for leaving. Mom and Dad- your getting a tattoo dedicated to you on my back. I love you both more than this earth and im sorry that this drove us apart.

-Manderz-

"you can always find your way back home" Miley cyrus