perspective.

lately i have been feeling like I've been missing out on everything because I'm so busy. and thats kinda just who i am. ridged schedules. pro con lists to make any decision. and just very structured. and i usually see that things could be a distraction. but in reality i need to see the distractions so i don't drive myself crazy. i need to see the positives and not the negatives. and i need to focus on what i have instead of what I'm missing out on. because the reality is that i am only missing out on what I'm missing out on is because i am only seeing the negative. and we are heading into my favorite time of year, there is no time like the present to change my mind set. because this is life, its not about the destination, its about getting there. the journey, and so far i have been so focused on the destination i forgot to see how far i have come. how much i have grown. how strong i am getting. and how much i truly believe in myself. hearing your miserable because of yourself is one of the hardest things to hear. having it sink in, and it being understood rips you open. growing from it makes you strong. all i want is to be happy, because i have everything else. i have a strong relationship. i have the motivation for any future i want. i have a support system behind me that could compete with ancient roman structures. and i don't have any reason to be unhappy, aside from the fact that I'm missing out on everything. and that is gonna change. i am no longer gonna mope cuz i don't have anything to do, but be grateful I've got some down time. I'm gonna choose to go out, rather than feel sorry for myself. I'm 21 years old, being a little irresponsible is not gonna distract me enough to take me off track again. i can't live in fear.

.manderz.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery or fear, NOT absence of fear. -Mark Twain.